I start off with a story. I had been working extra hard and felt a gripping pain like a charlie horse in my calf muscle but the pain never went away. At first, I thought I had pulled a muscle so I was limping my way through. I have a history of cellulitis so I was coming against that in prayer while watching for a fever and a red rash going up my leg.
The fever never came, neither did the rash but I wanted to call the advice nurse before the weekend thinking it was cellulitis and wanted antibiotics before the weekend. The advice nurse was more worried it was a blood clot and told me I had to get in right away. If they didn’t have appointments to go to the ER.I really did not have time to go to the ER as my older daughter had just had surgery. I left Kamea and went hoping and praying it was quick and nothing.
For me to go to the ER and come back again to help. But, that is not what happened. Jesus said in this life we will have many troubles but to take heart. As He has conquered the world. Things in life happen to us and we try to self diagnose, self evaluate, self introspect and try to dismiss the advice we get from the professional. There is no way from my symptoms that the nurse could have diagnosed me with that, but that was her concern.
But I was too focused on what symptoms I could see and experiencing yet I listened and went. While there, they said I was to have an ultrasound on my leg which just sounded weird. Not knowing what to expect the technician came in and took several pictures stating I have been on complete bed rest right? When I said no he was confused and amazed. He told me I had 3 blood clots and left me alone to wait for the doctor.
It changed my whole perspective thinking of surgery, amputation as well as death. I tried to speak, decree and declare God’s Word but it did not stop the visions and thoughts from coming like a flood. I remembered God wants it all and transparently so I told Him I’m scared! When I admitted the fear I was able to speak I was scared which is handing it over to Him and that is when the Lord was able to come in silence the voices and lovingly and tenderly reminded me of the many times He has healed me from cellulitis, Kamea of pneumonia , my mom’s stomach, mom’s pneumonia, my dad’s bleeding and several miracles He has done personally that I have experienced.
It was then He was truly able to take my fear and replace it with grace, comfort, love, strength and hope. I learned an important lesson often as christians we do not even want to admit to the feelings or do not want to experience the vulnerability so we renounce and denounce it without taking it out of denial which in reality does not go anywhere. That reminds me and puts a new perspective of Paul in James 1:2-4 where he states to consider it pure joy whenever we face trials. When we don’t fake our way through get real, raw and transparent with the Lord bring those feelings out of denial experiencing them only to hand them over to Him than we will truly be able to rejoice as when we are going through it and giving it to Him He can truly come in and do what He is trying to do. Just like Sarah with the maid trying to figure out a way she can help God out since she was barren.
She told her husband to sleep with her maid so he can have the son God promised because they didn’t see, understand or know what God was about to do. Genesis 16:2. Then Moses didn’t understand killing a man that is when the Israelites he was trying to help turned on him. He ran away but then God showed up in the burning bush telling him he was the chosen one to save them. Thank God for His mercy, grace, faithfulness and sovereignty using even our failings and mistakes! It is when we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit, follow His lead, His plans we will get to where the Lord is getting us to be. But just like the metamorphosis He is more interested in the process changing and developing us through it than the results. But just like after metamorphosis if we allow the process, not fighting it we will become a beautiful masterpiece in the end.
On the way to the pharmacy to get the medication the Lord showed His Shekinah Glory in the sky reminding me He is always with me no matter what. Do you see what I see? Do you see the Lord’s perspective and what He is trying to do through the many situations and trials in our lives? Are we allowing Him to take us through the process or are we trying to figure Him out? Trying to help Him along? Or ready to give up on what he already spoke wondering if it was really Him? We must keep in our mind the story of Job and all He went through and at the end after he stood Praising Him through it all is when God gave him a double portion of what He lost. Let us strive towards the mark! Be willing to go through the process and hold tight onto Him and what it is He is doing in and through us! That is when we will truly see and experience miracles, signs and wonders! God bless you
o.